Archive for August, 2007

Cedar Point – the second ascent

On Sunday, August 12th, I convinced my wife Amy (aka widget) to join me in what would be her first, and my second Summit Cheeseburger – North Olmsted’s Cedar Point. Armed with a copy of Cleveland On Foot, my balky GPS, and a pair of home-grilled burgers – hers with some sharp Wisconsin Cheddar, and mine with Emmentaler, we drove out to the southern section of the Rocky River Resevation.

Now, the trail the book gives for this area of the park seemed like it would get to Cedar Point, but that turned out to be quite erroneous – it turns out it just gets you to a place where you can see Cedar Point – across the valley below. Thus our trek started with what became an hourlong sojourn around Fort Hill, which was nice, but not on the USGS list of peaks.

After viewing our target from afar, we went down to the Nature Center to find out how to get to the right trail. The first person I asked hadn’t actually heard of the trail, and wasn’t 100% sure, so she referred us to a Ranger, who gave us a hand-drawn map leading to the right place.

We zipped up to the trailhead, which, unfortunately for our on-foot nature, was shared most of the way with a bridle trail. We carefully (y’know, horses have been walking around there) made our way to where it seemed to split, though without any signage except a single bridle trail sign.

From the split, we proceeded to what looked like it might be the summit – through a little bit of clearing, I could indeed see fence of the observation area of Fort Hill where we first saw the mighty 761 foot peak upon which we now stood. Knowing we had made it, we had our Cheeseburgers.

Once we got back home, we found out we weren’t the first to conquer Cedar Point, but only by a few days! Next time you’re in Cleveland, sirloinofbeef, we shall have to organize a guided tour of Little Mountain – hopefully the tour guide will understand our mission!

Sam – glacial23

Amy – widget


August 26, 2007 at 7:59 pm 1 comment

Big Mountain-High Point of the Mormon Trail (8,472 ft) August 11, 2007

Mark (SafetyMan) and Wimpy met FlyingElvis and Jesse outside of the 15th and 15th Starbucks at 5:30 AM, Saturday morning.  Not able to procure any coffee that early, we piled into two cars for the 30 minute trip to the trailhead.  From the Big Mountain Pass (~7420 feet in elevation) off of Route 65, we took the well marked trail past the communication station and headed steadily uphill.  This is a well marked trail with switch backs easing the apparent grade.   We soon arrived at the unremarkable peak, but were pleased to see very remarkable views of the surrounding Wasatch Mountains.  On the peak, we each enjoyed a Carl’s Junior Famous Star Cheeseburger.  Congratulations to SafetyMan for his first Utah peak and his third state with a Cheeseburger Summit!  After a moment to chat and digest, Patrick and Jesse continued westward for a day of bagging peaks (Sadly with no accompanying Cheeseburgers). Mark and I beat a hasty retreat back to our car, so that we could get SafetyMan on the road for his car trip to Oregon.  While Big Mountain is a unremarkable peak, it is steeped in Utah history and has tremendous views of the Central Wasatch Range.





August 23, 2007 at 3:07 pm Leave a comment

Mount Agassiz via Naturalist Basin August 21st, 2007

August 21st, until now, most infamously known in Cheeseburger Lore as the day in 1997 that the Hudson Food Company agreed to destroy 25 Million Pounds of Tainted Hamburger Meat (that is roughly equivalent to 200 million quarter pound Cheeseburgers! a sad sad day).  Our August 21st started dark and early at 5:30 AM.  After an approach drive of 1.5 hours (thanks for driving Paul!), we reached the Highline Trail Trailhead (~10,250 feet in elevation) at just after 7 AM.  Our stated goal for the day was to summit and eat a Cheeseburger atop Mount Agassiz (12,254 feet in elevation).  Our secondary, but also important, goal was to continue our preparation for the upcoming one day attempt on Mount Glover in the Northern Wind River Range.  With both goals in mind, our starting pace was brisk and continous.  After following the Highline Trail for several rolling miles, we turned left at the Trail for Blue Lake.  The trail began steadily heading upwards, passing the eastern edge of the Morat Lakes and eventually Blue Lake.  Following the trail at this point became less of a sure thing, but the surrounding geography easily guided our footsteps.  We attained the ridgeline between Mount Agassiz and Spread Eagle Peak and then followed the indistinct ridgeline trail to the rocky ascent to Mount Agassiz.  Along the ridgeline, we were treated to stunning views to the North of Hayden Peak, Rider Lake and to the south of Naturalist Basin.  The route to the summit of Mount Agassiz  generally follows the spine of broken rock and is much easier than it looks from a distance (class 2+).   The summit of Mount Agassiz is very wide and there are two distinct rock cairns.  The farther and higher of the two, marks the summit and is also marked with a weatherbeaten mailbox.  At the summit, we were each treated to an excellent Carl’s Junior Famous Star Cheeseburger (Thanks Patrick!).  Though the weather was perfect on the summit (a true bluebird day), we quickly began our descent for the sake of time.  The trip down was relatively uneventful until FlyingElvis jammed a toe and SirloinofBeef decided to attempt to perform the splits while admiring Spread Eagle Peak.  Our crew now consisted of FlyingElvis nursing a hyperextended toe, SirloinofBeef nursing a bruised knee and Wimpy nursing a poor attitude.  We then limped our way back down past Blue Lake until rejoining the Highline Trail for the final push to the trailhead.  We reached the Trailhead at about 2:20 PM for a roundtrip time of just over 7 hours and a total distance of about 14 miles.

Patrick, Paul and John-1 Carl’s Junior Famous Star Cheeseburger each.  Let us all hope that this starts a new dawn for August 21st.

Summit Cheeseburger

August 22, 2007 at 2:20 pm Leave a comment

New study linking Narcolepsy and Pedicures-Elvis Lives, but he don’t get up early (Jupiter Hill)

August 18, 2007, the 30 year and 2 day anniversary of the supposed death of Elvis Presley.

The morning started at 5:20 AM, on my front porch staring at the gathering clouds and frequent bolts of lightning. Paul (SirloinofBeef) arrived promptly at 5:30 and related that Patrick (FlyingElvis) was not awake when he went by his house. This was doubly concerning because FlyingElvis had all the Cheeseburgers. Thus, we returned to Graceland and attempted to wake up SleepingElvis, but were unsuccessful. Due to the inclement weather and lack of available Cheeseburgers, we decided to postpone Red Baldy for another day and instead ferry some supplies to the SirloinofBeef cabin. After picking up the wine and compost, we headed back yet again to see if SleepingElvis was awake yet. Arriving back at Graceland, all the windows were still dark and SleepingElvis was nowhere to be seen. A quick vote was taken and FlyingElvis’ trail handle will be changed to ‘DeadtotheWorldElvis’. Elvis Presley may not have died on August 16, 1977, but FlyingElvis was certainly dead to the world on August 18, 2007. After a quick trip to the cabin, the weather had stabilized enough to consider a quick summit attempt. By this time the Park City McDonalds was open and we were able to procure several Sausage Biscuit with Cheese, Breakfast Sandwiches. We then drove to Guardsman Pass and slogged through the rain and cold to the Summit of Jupiter Hill, where we ate our less than delightful McDonalds Sausage Biscuit with Cheese Breakfast Sandwiches.

Paul and John, but no Patrick
Jupiter Hill, UT

Summit Cheeseburgers Into Park City Mountain Patrol Hut The Ridge to Jupiter

August 20, 2007 at 5:15 pm 2 comments

A Virgin Cheeseburger at 8 AM and at 11,330 Feet of Elevation

summit panorama.jpg

A trip with DR Bob Jones usually starts with confusion and a lack of organization and this was no exception. We had been planning a dawn summit of the Pfeiferhorn for a couple of weeks; he had summited the peak, there would be no route finding and we could get back down to be with the wives and babies in time. The first thing Dr BOB Jones said when he came to pick me up was “How about summiting the Twins”? Knowing Bob Jones I gave in easy, grabbed the hiking guide book, and piled into the car. Reading the book, I noticed the 4.5 mile trip to the summit but failed to recognize what 5200 feet in elevation meant at the time. One mile in from the Broads Fork trailhead, I thought to myself, this should mellow out soon…wrong. Two miles in I sat down to drink some water and weep and I thought this should mellow out in a bit…wrong. At this point, I read the guide book again and realized that it did say 5200 feet in 4.5 miles. However, we got to the end of the maintained trail and the views just kept getting better and that kept us going. We started at the trailhead at about 7:30 PM and made it to our bivouac about 3 miles in and at about 10 PM. Luckily I brought two bombers of big Full Sail beer and DR Bob Jones brought a Nalgene full of Balvenie Doublewood to sooth us to sleep. The last thing I remember BOB Jones saying is “Damn, I’m gettin’ drunk.” So maybe it wasn’t a surprise we slept through my cell phone alarm that went off at 4 in the AM. I still claim that it didn’t go off until 5 which was when we did wake up and started off for the summit. We scrambled up to the saddle between Sunrise Peak and the Twins at about 7. The view of the range across Little Cottonwood, including the Pfeiffer, White Baldy, Maybird, etc didn’t suck at that time in the morning so I recommend it. Instead of heading up the ridge which I think would have been a bit more exciting, we traversed to a couloir and headed up to the ridge crest and summit cone. We summitted the East Twin and had our delicious (and somewhat stale) cheeseburger at about 8 in the morning. Our summit cheeseburger virginity had been broken and we were ready for the descent.

Stats: East Twin (Big Cottonwood), UT; 11,330 ft
Burger: A nasty McDump cheeseburger.
Beer: Full Sail Slipknot, Full Sail Nugget
Scotch: Balvenie Doublewood
Hikers: angryjones, drbobjones

DSC_0008 (1).jpg DSC_0013 (1).jpg DSC_0016.jpg DSC_0051 (1).jpg

August 17, 2007 at 6:02 am Leave a comment

It’s good to have goals

With a friend, and former Utah resident, visiting from Minnesota, the decision was made to go dominate (I use the term very liberally here) the Uintas. Thus my friend, Karl, and I headed to Bald Mountain for some fun on Sunday. Surprisingly, not many souls were out there on such a splendid day (maybe suffering in church, dreaming of cheeseburgers?) but we didn’t let that slow us down. A quick ascent and an even quicker slamming of the burger, we made a hasty retreat, as it seemed to be cooling off too quick, but fortunately no bad weather found us. However, from there we made the ill conceived plan of attacking Kings Peak, or Gunsight Peak, or even Gilbert Peak and headed north and east to Kings Peak area, and after hiking in the dark on day one (intelligent in bear country), then getting partially disoriented and trying to wait out the lightning and thunder on day two, and getting slammed with hail on day three, we let the dream die until another day. But at least we got Bald Mountain and were able to enjoy an ice-cold beer (or two) at the Kings Trail head, drenched to the bone, after our 9 mile hike out. After all, a few days in the mountains, smelling of lamb burgers and IPA is better than days at work.

The Summit: Bald Mountain, UT August 12th, 2007
The Burger: Lamb
The Cheese: Dubliner
The Bun: Wheat


The Uintahs

August 16, 2007 at 8:44 am Leave a comment

Fresh ground on my own private summit

Another hot, sunny, Salt Lake, summer, Sunday afternoon.  The burger was fresh ground from a chuck roast about an hour earlier and the drumming practices had just wrapped.  I, Sir Lee Bastard, put the 6 oz. burgers on the grill and then sat with Wimpy and soon-to-be Summiteer FalseBeard looking up at the Summit, Ensign Peak East, while drinking beer and waiting for the burgers to cook and for Sir Loin of Beef to arrive.  The other Summit Knight was a little late, so after the medium white Tillamook cheddar melted onto the patties, I finished constructing the Cheeseburgers and Wimpy wrapped them adroitly in wax paper.  Ketchup, brown mustard, fresh garden tomatoes, green leaf lettuce on a toasted Country Potato bun accompanied the hot medium rare fresh ground Cheeseburgers.  Four burgers and two 22 oz. bottles of Slipknot Imperial IPA went into the backpack as Loin of Beef arrived with two other fresh beef cuts in tow.

The hike started just outside my backyard fence and first crossed some of the undeveloped hillside of my lot.  FalseBeard shot ahead quickly as Wimpy and Sir Loin were slowed by the need to carry the fresh beef cuts and I, Sir Lee Bastard, tired rapidly.  The ascent was steep but without incident and soon we were looking out over the Salt Lake valley with still hot Cheeseburgers and still ice-cold beers in hand.  Newcomer Falsebeard struggled a bit with his sizeable burger, because his soda had been inadvertantly left behind, but with the prize of his first peak in sight, he labored through to success.

The Summit: Ensign Peak East/Salt Lake City, Utah.  The Cheeseburger Summiteers: Sir Lee Bastard, Sir Loin of Beef, Wimpy, and (introducing) FalseBeard.  Honorable mention, but no burgers: Two sides of Loin of Beef.

August 15, 2007 at 3:36 pm 1 comment

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The Mission

To encourage, enable, and document the consumption of a Cheeseburger on every summit on earth.
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