McSummits—Over 100 Cheeseburgers Served

No guts, no glory. It’s as simple as that.

First…defy ominous warnings on high: Trooper, pastured as wood-hauler at Tollgate; John, crippled in training by the Hot Dog clean and jerk; Patrick (spirits boosted by an 8-time- zone dash barely in time for departure) hi-jacked in the batters’ box by a flock of princesses.

Second…display Undaunted Courage: Paul, Nils, Georges and Kirk advance the cutting edge of cheeseburgerdom with the first tetrapeak expedition and creation of a new unit of international standards—the hectosummitcheeseburger.

But I digress.

Just the facts, Ma’am.

Departure: park at Big Mountain Pass, head north on the Great Western Trail.

Peak numero uno: lightning strike to Big Mountain (8572ft—don’t go metric on me, Georges) for 2 (95 total, but who’s counting?) Summitcheeseburgers [bison, sautéed in garlic (KGB, of course, the only OFFICIAL garlic of Summitcheese); bathed in aged (3 weeks—K&J’s fridge) Havarti, presented on home-baked buns with a dollop of mustard; Paul and Kirk consumed].

Peak numero two-o: bushwhack scramble up the south face of Swallow Rocks (8700+ft) and 3 more Summitcheeseburgers (Kirk, Paul, Nils; one aforementioned bison and 2 venison/garlic (KGB, to remind the reader)/mushroom/provolone/–buns generously hoisted to the peak by the notorious brie-eater, Georges).

Peak three: Grandview (9410ft) highpoint and halfway mark, and yet another bushwhack. Three burgers, yet again (repeat of menu #2), #’s 99,100,101. Generous celebratory dessert of fresh California (via Costco) dates, supplied by Georges.

Peak quatro: Burro (8958ft), a challenging, each-man-for-himself, descent along a knife-edge to the finale and 3 more burgers (menu: ditto).

Finish: precipitous descent along the SL/Davis County line and into City Creek Canyon for rendezvous with John in Rotary Park…. ooops…5+ mile trek down the road (‘nice surface’ says Georges) to a glorious victory celebration.

The story(s) behind the story (trail fodder for up-coming trips):
–bearded, armed, camo-clad, ATV jockeys with walkie-talkies and sniper cover
–bearing witness to the infamous Panda Hunt
–the smell of Napalm (at least the gunshot) in the morning
–currant-bush arrest of the Grandview Glissade
–reverse half-pike into City Creek (9.6)
–unmatched close-up views of the central Wasatch
–360 degree views of 3+ states and countless ranges

Thank you:
–John, for the ride
–un-named spouses, for indulgence.